Metacognition: QE Essay

Yesterday, I started to the first part of my rough draft for the QE essay. Before starting, I read over the prompt about three times. I then looked at the questions and I proceeded to slowly and carefully pick the one that I liked the best. I've noticed before that I am usually very adamant on the prompt that I pick, when given a choice. However, this time I was stuck between two: What are the obstacles to creativity, and how can they be overcome? and How can creativity be used to improve the human condition? Since I couldn't quite choose at first, I wrote out both questions in my notebook. I then attempted to answer both questions. I figured whichever question I got the most answers from would be the one that I'd use in my essay. Once I jotted down my few answers to each question, I realized I had the same amount for each. Argh. I looked again at both questions, and I considered how similar they were. Actually, I could probably just incorporate one question into the other throughout the essay. Huh, that sounds pretty nice. So, I chose the second question and I figure I can relate it to the first. I realize that my brain works very clearly and methodically when it wants to. Also, I've discovered that I am a terrible decision maker. I really do wish I was better at it, but I seem to have gotten even worse over the years. It takes me way too long to make a decision, and once I make it, I usually go another route entirely. I second guess myself, because I fear making the wrong decision. I'm a slow, slow worker, and I really wish I could change that.

After I chose my question, I brainstormed my "warm up act." I searched my iTunes music library and looked deep in my brain for inspiration, where I found nothing. I looked just to the right of my desk, where I keep my most beloved books, and I considered their plots and themes. I realized then that one of those many books would be the perfect "warm up act." I was surprised at how quickly I found inspiration for the first paragraph of my essay and at how long it took me to choose the right question for it. I already know that I'm terrible at decisions, but I didn't realize that I'm easily and swiftly inspired by many things.

For the next paragraph, I had to elaborate on the question and explain its relativity and importance. This was a bit of a failure for me. It took me too long, and I couldn't find the right words. I strive to be a good writer, but often my words come out sounding weird and cheesy. I also realize that I get nervous when writing out the big picture. It's as if the question I'm trying to answer is beyond me, and I'm too timid to try and answer it. I'm embarrassed by what I might say, and I don't like being that way. In the future, I hope to be able to have a little more confidence in my writing, so that I don't sit in front of the computer for too long, pondering, trying to make decisions and failing miserably.